Emotions..

I could spend hours, maybe even days just writing about my feelings and emotions. But I think I'm still yet to get to that stage when they shall all overflow. All the emotions I've kept bottled up for so long, all the feelings I've kept hidden, enclosed in a place where no one could reach. All the lies I told just to hide how I truly feel, and even the lies I still tell.

Most times, that's just the best way to live one's life. Emotions cripples you, makes you weak and vulnerable. It confuses you and leaves you clueless. And that isn't even what scares me. What scares me is getting hurt, what scares me is en trusting my heart to someone and then having them break it. If only I could be sure, if only I could get proof that whoever I gave my heart to would cherish it and keep it guarded.. Away from pain and sadness.

But promises aren't what they used to be. Gone are the days when promises were debts, gone are the days when promises were almost as strong as vows. Now promises are just mere lies,series of lies wrapped in bows and put in coloured boxes. They no longer mean anything, they no longer stand for anything, promises aren't worth anything no more!

Therefore, I can't take that risk. I'm not even willing to. I give up on relationships. I hardly ever find guys that tickle my fancy these days. I don't know if I am the one not willing to find, I don't know if I'm the one not ready to 'mingle'...or maybe I know, but I'm not ready to admit. At least not just yet.