Sunday, 12 May 2013

A gender casually bombarded with molestation

Most would assume its only unsuccesful, desperate females who get churned in the direction of 'give what you have to get what you want.', But behind the exaggerated acts in our home videos 'nollywood movies' is a tangible truth to what we often put off as mere drama. Its not until you hear of the bank marketer who is literally compelled to put more than her business client offer on sale, or a member of the congregation who is asked to open her legs so she can 'receive the anointing', maybe not until you experience it first-hand that it dawns that the overly repeated drama we watch occasionally  actually has a large chunk of authenticity to it.

You therefore might be able to Imagine my surprise as I sat in shocked silence and pretence confusion - an unknowing female still caught in the disbelief that the nollywood movies actually portrayed real life scenarios - listening to the pot bellied man trying to convince me of the merits of having a sexual relationship with him, my lecturer, a professor not younger than 45.

Now, ask me what I had done to get myself here... It wasn't inappropriate clothes, or overly exposed skin that caused his dirty old mind to devise such nonentity, it was in fact something far off from immoral behaviour or improper dressing. Innocence and reserve.

Listening, a little light headed, I wondered if the pretty tall girl from the set two years ago was approached in the same manner, I wondered how many more females he had imposed this same plight on, I wondered what the consequences would be if I refused. I wondered, and my confusion turned to fright, and my silence to tumbling incoherent words I hoped might somehow save me.

The impending doom due to the negligence of a situation this grave scares the shit out of me. At the moment, a solution is needed, a way out... that won't ruin me or my education.


Thursday, 24 January 2013

Memories that never fade

It hurts beyond imagination to lose a loved one. The tears are forever welled up somewhere, willing to gush out whenever the mind recalls the pain.
The tears are so damned disrespectful, and they flow as they please, when they please.
I still cry, i still go through pictures. Everything i see reminds me. It becomes difficult when everyone i see with the same build gives me some kind of hope that the sad occurence was just a nightmare.
I have refused to erase what is left, i believe even, that it would be wrong to. So its still there, all of it. Pictures, clothes, contact, they are all just there lying around in my way, making sure i never forget.
The words come in thousands and the tears in large ass gallons. Some say it would, but i know the hurt never does go away.

Saturday, 13 October 2012


You know when they say.. "Life is not a bed of roses" , thing is life isn't even a bed. There's no allowance in life for you to relax in peace. Its either you're standing or you're on the ground being stepped on by those who have fought or who are fighting to be in that upright position. Life, it waits for no one, And no one waits for another. Its like a relay race around the universe... to infinity. If your baton drops, your opponent keeps going... its either you sit and wait for help or you pick it up and try to cover the distance lost. Love, many say it has no finite definition. I would rather not say I know anything about it. But I can say that love can be sweet and beautiful, from what people say. It also can be mean, cruel... If you love someone who loves someone else... It doesn't get worse. Does it? Hope, the expectation for a better tomorrow. When you need something so much you'd rather wait ages for it to come your way than let it go. And then, belief that the one who has your heart would find their way back to you. When you fall hard and that someone leaves, the gaping hole in your heart is inevitable. Sometimes it stays there long enough that you start to believe your torn pieces can never be one again. Other times you're lucky enough to find another who would fill that void. But at last, we all end up Fine. I'll keep moving, I'll try to get it off my mind. Regardless, I hope I haven't lost him... totally.

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Versatile blogger award

Yaaaayh me! I was just told i received a versatile blogger nomination! was momentarily surprised though *blushing*. Thank you Cee for the nomination :D

Apparently, there are rules that come with the award which i have to adhere to
 1. Nominate 15 fellow bloggers.
 2. Inform the bloggers of their nomination.
 3. Share 7 random things about yourself.
 4. Thank the blogger who nominated you.
 5. Add the Versatile Blogger Award pic on your blog post.

Nominees: i'm not consistent here on blogger, so i dont know if i would be able to list 15, but i'll try still


Seven random things about myself:
  1. i love sleeping... waay too much 
  2. i like wearing black, no need to stress myself trying to combine colors
  3. i hate beans
  4. i once scaled the school fence with my best friend. i liked it :D
  5. I've never traveled out of my country
  6. i have NEVER dated a guy shorter than me, Never would :|
  7. i'm not really a music person, so when i  actually listen, any genre is fine by me.

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

just the need to let a little out..

i wish to say hello, but i'm in no mood for pleasantries.

I'm one to do things i know i would look back at and not be proud, but i still end up doing them. i hate to regret, hate to say "i wish i hadn't", hate to feel sober for something that has already been done.. i dislike where i am right now, for some reason i feel like i'm pushing away someone who loves me, but love? *scoffs* My mentality that it doesn't exist is probably what is keeping me from feeling or experiencing it, but really i dont care. On matters of the heart, i want to be left alone,not to be disturbed, yet sometimes i feel a certain emptiness and the need to be loved. i lyk my feelings to stay hidden, and at the same time i wish one could look deep and see what i feel, i dont want to speak, or have to blurt out all that is on my mind.. i just want him to see what is in my head without me saying a word.. i'm just a really confused person..
right? yh, i know.

Thursday, 1 December 2011

You are never alone

there are times when you feel like you're caught up in a web of problems or troubles, when you feel like you cant be understood by anyone other than ....yourself maybe. When you're tired, fed up and sick of everything. we've all been in that situation at one point in our lives or another. and at that point, we tend to feel alone, but in truth we never are. its either we're drowned deep into our problems that we fail to notice that there are people around who can help and who might be experiencing the same thing and are willing to help. To those who are in this situation, even if you are convinced that there's no one to turn to, there's always God. seek him, have faith and pray to him, and all would turn out right...eventually. Everything happens for a reason and God waits for the right time to show you the reason why those things happened. So just be patient, and your miracle would happen when the time is right. in the mean time, pray and be joyful. God will do the rest :) ♥ xx

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

wtf is wrong with men?!

WTF??! A fucking stinking short fat big bellied lecturer fuckin made a pass at me! As in wtf! Yes! Its shocking,very shocking! I mean he fucking tried to kiss me eww! Was wondering why he was being all nice sef. Oh my god! *breathes* how. Did I get into this mess ehn? How?

As in tf! I'm still in shock, as in speechless and numb. I've pinched my self a whole lot of times but this...this.. I dnt even knw what to call it... is not fading. Away just like a dream should. I don't even want to believe that what happened to me actually happened. How did I get myself into this ditch sef? I tought this kinda stuff only happened in nigerian movies??

Now he knows my face, name and matric! And I even foolishly gave him my number. But that was before this whole fucked up phase.

Can't men just be satisfied with their wives???!why do they prefer running after young girls?? Mschewww!
Stupid Assholes!