Versatile blogger award

Yaaaayh me! I was just told i received a versatile blogger nomination! was momentarily surprised though *blushing*. Thank you Cee http://madamchiso.blogspot.com/ for the nomination :D


Apparently, there are rules that come with the award which i have to adhere to
 1. Nominate 15 fellow bloggers.
 2. Inform the bloggers of their nomination.
 3. Share 7 random things about yourself.
 4. Thank the blogger who nominated you.
 5. Add the Versatile Blogger Award pic on your blog post.


Nominees: i'm not consistent here on blogger, so i dont know if i would be able to list 15, but i'll try still

1. http://undercover07.blogspot.com/
2. http://alteredtoredefine.blogspot.com/
3. http://madamchiso.blogspot.com/
4. http://beingdipjyoti.blogspot.com/
5. http://kitkatstales.wordpress.com
6. http://raspeberry.blogspot.com/
7. http://roseofsharonwrites.blogspot.com/
8. http://lovestolosecontrol.blogspot.com
9. http://eche-crates.blogspot.com/
10. http://idletuesdayafternoonthoughts.blogspot.com/
11. http://toblog-withlove.blogspot.com
12. http://itsthethingsinlife.blogspot.com/
13. http://gottahavefai.blogspot.com/
14. http://cerebrallybusy.blogspot.com/
15. http://yinkuslolo.blogspot.com/

Seven random things about myself:

1. i love sleeping... waay too much 
2. i like wearing black, no need to stress myself trying to combine colors
3. i hate beans
4. i once scaled the school fence with my best friend. i liked it :D
5. I've never traveled out of my country
6. i have NEVER dated a guy shorter than me, Never would :|
7. i'm not really a music person, so when i  actually listen, any genre is fine by me.

just the need to let a little out..

i wish to say hello, but i'm in no mood for pleasantries.

I'm one to do things i know i would look back at and not be proud, but i still end up doing them. i hate to regret, hate to say "i wish i hadn't", hate to feel sober for something that has already been done.. i dislike where i am right now, for some reason i feel like i'm pushing away someone who loves me, but love? *scoffs* My mentality that it doesn't exist is probably what is keeping me from feeling or experiencing it, but really i dont care. On matters of the heart, i want to be left alone,not to be disturbed, yet sometimes i feel a certain emptiness and the need to be loved. i lyk my feelings to stay hidden, and at the same time i wish one could look deep and see what i feel, i dont want to speak, or have to blurt out all that is on my mind.. i just want him to see what is in my head without me saying a word.. i'm just a really confused person..
right? yh, i know.

You are never alone

there are times when you feel like you're caught up in a web of problems or troubles, when you feel like you cant be understood by anyone other than ....yourself maybe. When you're tired, fed up and sick of everything. we've all been in that situation at one point in our lives or another. and at that point, we tend to feel alone, but in truth we never are. its either we're drowned deep into our problems that we fail to notice that there are people around who can help and who might be experiencing the same thing and are willing to help. To those who are in this situation, even if you are convinced that there's no one to turn to, there's always God. seek him, have faith and pray to him, and all would turn out right...eventually. Everything happens for a reason and God waits for the right time to show you the reason why those things happened. So just be patient, and your miracle would happen when the time is right. in the mean time, pray and be joyful. God will do the rest :) ♥ xx

wtf is wrong with men?!

WTF??! A fucking stinking short fat big bellied lecturer fuckin made a pass at me! As in wtf! Yes! Its shocking,very shocking! I mean he fucking tried to kiss me eww! Was wondering why he was being all nice sef. Oh my god! *breathes* how. Did I get into this mess ehn? How?

As in tf! I'm still in shock, as in speechless and numb. I've pinched my self a whole lot of times but this...this.. I dnt even knw what to call it... is not fading. Away just like a dream should. I don't even want to believe that what happened to me actually happened. How did I get myself into this ditch sef? I tought this kinda stuff only happened in nigerian movies??

Now he knows my face, name and matric! And I even foolishly gave him my number. But that was before this whole fucked up phase.

Can't men just be satisfied with their wives???!why do they prefer running after young girls?? Mschewww!
Stupid Assholes!

I like him, but he's dating her

Its been close to a year since my pathetic 'relationship' came to a grateful end. And for the first time since then, I think I'm starting to like someone. I like the feeling though, but I'm scared as well.

We are just friends, for now..... He's really cool and fun to hang out with. He's funny and we are free with each other. He says he really really likes me, BUT he has a girlfriend *sigh* annoying right?

Anyways, we went to the movies today, and all I could think of throughout was sitting on his lap all cuddled up, kissing and him touching my soft skin and getting turned on just by the feel of it. My mind wanders a lot yeah, can't help it x) .

On the drive back to my apartment, he said he would love to kiss me and asked if he could. I said no, though that was what had been on my mind all evening, a whole lot more than that actually, I wish he had just grabbed me and kissed me without asking, I fucking hate questions mahn! I wouldn't have stopped him. If he had put his hands under my shirt and touched me, I wouldn't have stopped him. If he had taken off my bra and sucked my nipples, I wouldn't have stopped him. But he didn't, and I was left unsatisfied and horny! Quite frustrating yeah *breathes out*

We still talked later on after we parted. I donno, but with every passing second I like him even more. I remember asking him if he could date two girls, and he said he never had and never thought he would. He said he could just have the other girl as a "close friend" cuz calling her the 'side chick' would be disrespectful. Yeah, of course!. And I know if we start having something, I would be that "close friend" and I don't want to be that girl , so now I don't know what to do. I should just bury the feelings up inside right? Yeah, that's what I would do *deep sigh* see why I hate emotions?!



Bloggers note: please forgive all improper words used and all ... woteva bleh! My mind isn't here jor....

Grades and shit!

I just checked my results, my grades are fuckiin low mehn! As in shit! I was discussing with the faculty adviser and he took my dad's number which means I am in trouble, I'm in deep shit. Everything is so fucked right now. My grades are in the trash.. And if I don't improve, I would be kicked out which cannot happen or else I might be disowned.

I know I wasn't serious in the previous semester, and I expected bad grades . Luck wasn't with me because the grades came out worse. I cannnot stay in this fucked up school longer than I'm meant to. And if I don't improve this time, I'm goin to be here for a fucking long time. I may not be into books and I might be lazy. But I always make sure I never fail to an extent where I have to take classes with the juniours cuz I did not pass a course. That's fuckin embarrsing, besides I cant let my haters and enemies laugh at me that aint gonna happen!

So even if I'm still going to skip some classes, I have taken things personal. I'm goin to work harder, study more and relate better with my mates. No more wasting free time, no more spending time doing absolutely nothing. I know I aint dumb, my IQ is a fucking 140! So Wth! That might be low, but I know a whole lot of people who would fuck asses to have such an IQ, so don't you say nothing!

I do hope I improve this semester! Or I'm gonna be soooooooooo fucked up! I'm better than my results, I know that. So nobody should go around thinking I'm a dumb ass chick, cuz they gonna get a shocker when they see what I can do. Especially all these bitches sleeping around and gettin good grades, then coming to flaunt it in my face! Fuck 'em all! ....... in the end, I'd still be their BosS in Future! So fuck it!

Have I really changed?

I got a call from my best friend last night,
And this was the first thing she said to me.;

BFF : "Chocolate, you have changed.

Me : how?
BFF : I don't know, you've just changed. Just like Kevin.
said you would
(Kevin was our close guy friend back in high school)

I didn't understand her, but I wondered if I really had.

I'm pretty sure she said that because I hardly ever call, and I have lost contact with all my friends from high school. Its not my fault, is it? I'm in a new place now. new people, new friends, more work to be done, less time for pleasantries and catching up. Its hard to keep up with all of them due to a lot of things.

Though I feel really bad that I haven't been able to keep up with everyone, but I can't do everything at once. I can't face college , and college friends, and at the same time keep in touch with high school friends.

But the questions still remains; have I really changed? Have I become that person I never expected? Have I turned into that uncaring and unfriendly person people said I would turn into?. I hope not, I hope it isn't true. I hope my friend was not serious when she said that. It would be terrible if it were true. I sincerely hope it isn't